Kill.
Last night, I had the most disturbing dream ever.
I had a boyfriend. I don’t remember who it was, but he was gorgeous and very fine indeed. It was a long dream, but I only remember this one part. My boyfriend and I were somewhere, probably the library or something, but we were there and we were sitting on beanbags. I was reading a book and he was doing something, and then suddenly a girl from my church came up to him and laid down in his chest and rested her head on his shoulder. I got so pissed, but I ignored them, pretending I was still reading. What’s worse was that he put an arm around her and she started telling him about all her troubles and shit and I was ready to just blow my top. But THEN, she started telling him about how horrible I was and how stupid and retarded and ugly I was and how he could ever date someone like me, and that’s when I just cracked.
I ripped her hair out, like literally, ripped it out. And I punched and slapped and basically wedgied everything that could be wedgied and kicked and cannonballed on her. And I swore at her like every other syllable and I honestly think I could have killed her.
And that is what scares me.
This girl in real life is not a bad person. She’s actually really nice and cute, and I guess I’ve just always been really jealous of her. I mean, I love my life and I really think I’ll grow up to be a very influencial person. I hope to be respected and looked at nicely and being acknowledged by everyone for my talents.
And yet, this one girl. I looked at her Facebook page again today. My murderous instinct instantly came back when I saw her picture. It wasn’t as strong of course, but it was there. I really hope I don’t go berserk this Sunday when I see her at church.
